Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Secret Ingredient

I invested in this strategy, and let's just say someone definitely got laid that night....

Friday, August 6, 2010


While driving the other day, I witnessed something that was very disturbing and aggrevating. A group of 10-15 people were holding signs that were accusing the current president of completely bogus allegations. They read "Obama was born in Iraq" "Obama trained in Al-queda" etc..

I have not found a political path to follow yet, but no matter what party affiliation, this was completely ludicrous. America is a great country for many reasons, especially because of the First Amendment which gives Americans the right to exercise free speech, but this was senseless speech.
So tomorrow I might go stand behind them with my own signs, and put out some ideas of mine that will blend right in.

Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are members of the Klan.

Hillary Clinton is an Ex- Playmate.

Dick Cheney was an undercover sniper in Vietnam.

Monica Lewinsky knows how to do laundry.

Howard Dean attends anger management classes.

George W. Bush is the founder of the Poetry Society of America.

I hope I've made my point.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

“I’m the Halle Berry of the NBA. Everybody wants this, baby. Everybody wants me.”

Rumor has it that the 38 year old, Shaquille O'Neal is heading to Boston to lace up with the Celtics. Shaq is now the oldest active player in the NBA. He hopes to find new chances of winning a title after he didn't 'get a ring for the king' in Cleveland. He will most likely finish up his vigorous career in Boston, but when he's gone, whose ass will Kobe have to taste?
 I'm sure many of you are wondering how the Cleveland Cavaliers will replace the dominant spot of Shaq, but I think I've got the whole thing figured out....... Dan Werner.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

King Uncaged

Now that T.I. has served his mandatory 'every rapper must go to jail periodically' sentence, he has been working on his seventh album. Besides having a fascinating album cover, there is much to look forward to about T.I.'s future release King Uncaged.

T.I. states that some of the songs on the album are about his time he spent in prison. Since Clifford Joseph Harris Jr. has spent quite some time in prison over his lifetime, these songs better be pretty damn good. Few singles from the album have already been released like 'Ya hear me' and 'I'm back'.

Recently, I have personally talked to T.I. and since he makes his best works after spending time in prison, he said he is welcoming suggestions from the public that will help him accelerate his journey back there soon.

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Summer is a a time of relaxation, but it is often accompanied by great drabness. Nothing feels healthier than bettering your mind while having fun. A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon this website. If you want to become quicker, more alert, and increase your keenness, invest your time into this program. Although it is only free for one week, if engaged in daily, the positive results wil become apparent. www.lumosity.com

Friday, July 23, 2010

Interesting Facts

There's so much about the universe that I don't know about. That is why I've been working on a personal project, researching more about the planet and it's people who inhabit it. I have reached my goal and have learned a lot more about the earth, which has been a engaging process for me because I have learned a lot more about myself as well.

Here are some of the facts about our surroundings that I've learned.
  • 12 Newborns will be given to the wrong parents each day... See? I'm not racist. Asians really do all look alike.
  • Tommy Lee Jones and former vice -president Al Gore were freshmen roomates at Harvard. Now they both star in 'flicks'.
  • A whale's penis is called a 'dork'. So I suppose getting called a nerd is a compliment.
  • The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump. Guess they evolved from white men.
  • Uranus has only been visited once in 1986... Make your own joke for that one.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The Poonies

Oh, did you not hear? The Calabrese's are huge supporters of the Poontangers. Many of you must be wondering, what's a poontanger? Poontanger- A man that goes around smelling the tangy scent left on a girls bicycle seat from their sweaty poons.

The story behind this is that this sign was in the background of what was supposed to be our Christmas card for this year. Not knowing how to bring this issue up to my mother, or even explain what a Poontanger is, I just decided to edit the original pic and hopefully no one will notice that the Calabrese's are secretley Pro- Poontanger.

See? Good as new. I know it's a controversial topic right now, but I just prefer that our outlooks on society are not proclaimed through our annual Christmas card.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

You know you're in Key West when...

These past couple days my family and I were vacationing in the Florida Keys. The journey was all new to us, but very relaxing and enjoyable. One day we ventured to Key West, which was delectable but just a little... flamboyant.
I found several occasions where things were different from the daily life I'm exposed to. The people were lovely and very approachable but it just seemed to me that more than just a certain group of 10% of Americans lived here....

You know youre in Key West when:

  1. You find a glory hole in the bathroom...... at a gas station.
  2. Two males are wearing shirts that read "Things 1 & 2" and the other "Things 3 &4"
  3. Frank gets mad at Martin for ringing the bell on the tandem.
  4. The 'Girls XXX Nude!' Strip Bar looks like it has been well out of business for quite some time.

These were all new to me but regardless, I had a great time- Great weather, nice people, and the best fashion design everywhere I walked.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

What's America coming to?

It took me some time to finally realize why the finest power house in the world would ever have to borrow capital from the Chinese.
I took a whole year of Chinese language in high school and I cannot recall any of these characters, but what does it matter? If I were to see this fine product in my Publix or shopping center, I'd think, "WOW. I really don't care if these chips will taste like ass, I WANT THEM." But this would be impossible in the U.S. because it'd be too 'Obscene' and 'dirty', because God fobid if any American ever thinks a man getting hit in the groin area could ever spark any sense of humor at all.
You see, in the end, all the aggressive 21/7 studying pays off for the nascent Asian powers. (The other 3 hours of the day are saved for typical daily life activites in Asia: Family, sleep, gourmet dog meat, trips to the car repair shop, etc...)
This innovative approach to advertising is exactly what America needs right now. If Obama had more advisors with this type of business method on his staff, it'd be as sweet as if he wasn't even president. I mean it'd be as sweet as if the recession never existed.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Welcome. You've got mail.

Bacchanalia- wild/ drunken behavior- just to set things straight.

wanted to make a blog- thought a cool sounding random word would be excellent- typed "cool sounding random words into google- the creation of ' the bacchanalia'.

With a new laptop that i've already gotten a little bored with, I figured maybe a blog would be a unique adventure.

Plus now that the world cup is over with, there's more space for me and America to pretend to be pasionate about something we don't care/know about.

If you are deeply disappointed with my debut and much anticipated blog, try my frie.. well actually if youre disappointed, something's wrong with you. but if so, try the always second, but much loved, chase bleke's. http://cbleke.blogspot.com/